Are you inadvertently settling for a life of compliance?

Life’s too short to be anything but happy! 😊

Right?… 

Not so fast. Please rewind.

Ok, then: 

Life’s too short to be anything but whatever the hell you wanna be at any given moment.

Perfect! 👏

At some point in my life, I fell for the unreasonable and widely accepted idea that I was supposed to be happy all day every day. 

And I understand my former self for believing such craziness. That idea is deeply ingrained in the culture, especially for women. But believe me, men’s upbringing isn’t that great either.

As women, we’re expected to fit in the mold that society has created for us, you know, “for our own benefit,” they say.

We’re supposed to be happy, pretty, not loud, not big in any possible way. Actually, the smaller we are, the better. 

We’re expected to be nice and accommodating. We should never make others feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t even matter if we are uncomfortable ourselves, as long as we don’t upset anyone else, all is good. 

We’re “allowed” to have a voice, but only if we use it to support what’s been established and accepted by the status quo, never to speak up against it.

It’s ok to express our emotions, but only the “positive” ones and in a contained manner. 

We’re told to be agreeable and compliant. We’re never encouraged to get in touch with what we truly desire and pursue it knowing that we deserve the freedom of our choices. On the contrary, we’re rewarded for accepting and claiming to want what others want for us.

And the list goes on and on. 

So, what happens when you know in your heart that you can’t repress yourself anymore? That you’re meant to express your authentic self wholly? That you ought to experience life’s highs and lows, and all the range of emotions that you’re capable of feeling? What do you do when it seems like most of the world is opposed to that kind of freedom?

Well, you might get depressed.

At least that’s what happened to me, but of course, I didn’t know it at the time. I was just feeling trapped and with no way out, not knowing what the cause was.

It took a lot of introspection for me to develop self-awareness and to ultimately realize that there was nothing wrong with me and that I deserve to be true to myself.

That’s when my self-love journey really began.

So how can we counterbalance the constricted mindset that prevails in our society?

Well, I don’t know for sure, but I certainly have some ideas:

  1. Being brave and setting the example of what you wanna see more of in the world. You must lead, not follow.

I believe the least productive way to ignite change is by fighting against what you despise; instead, a better approach is to add much more of what you love.

Let’s say you don’t like judgmental people. Then, stay away from gossip and practice kindness and compassion towards others. Try to be open to different points of view and don’t rush to criticize anyone, even if you don’t agree with them. There’s a difference between expressing your opinions and putting other people down for having their own. Avoid the latter.

2. Speaking up.

If you’re being mistreated, or you witness someone being mistreated, don’t just suck it up and go on without making waves. Whenever possible, speak up and educate people who abuse their power or who merely are so unconscious that they’re not even aware of how harmful is their behavior towards someone else. 

Teach respect and demand respect.

3. Not apologizing for being sensitive and having all kinds of emotions.

You’re a human, not a robot. 

Your sensitivity is beautiful, and messy, and soft, and powerful, and gentle, and intense, and clumsy, and wise, all at the same time. Cherish it!

Believe me, we’re more influential than what we allow ourselves to believe.

Let’s get out of our comfort zone and use our power to ignite a positive change in the world. 

How will you step up and own your power today?